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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26140906">Three days in New Jersey</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthWriter/pseuds/DarthWriter'>DarthWriter</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A long way toward making you mine [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bottom Tony Stark, Boys In Love, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Talking, Top Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:42:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,364</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26140906</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthWriter/pseuds/DarthWriter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony escape to New Jersey after Steve officialized their relationship... and talk about their future, and make love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>A long way toward making you mine [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Three days in New Jersey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I guess... I couldn't really let go of them, yet. ;-)</p><p>A big thanks to all of you who've been supporting me until the very end!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve buried his head between Tony's shoulder blades and pressed harder. His arms surrounded his waist, his hands clutched strongly his upper flanks, his helmet was lazily resting on his back while the Harley sped into the night. Maybe Tony was going a bit too fast but Steve didn't care. He probably was a bit too drunk to care anyway.</p><p>They had been riding on this bike so many times before, and each time had been exhilarating, sometimes scary or uneasy, but it was the first time that the roles were reversed. It was the first time that Steve was the one carried away, sitting on the backseat and holding his boyfriend's body so tightly against him. It felt strange. New and exciting.</p><p>Steve remembered the day Tony had offered him his birthday present. He remembered how he had fantasized about it. He had been seeing himself in <em>La Dolce Vita</em>—obviously he and Tony didn't have the same references, but they had the same fantasies—riding behind his lover, dashing through the wind. Tony had completely caught him off guard that day. Just like he had for those past six years. Just like he still did now. It felt so good to leave the reins to him for once—the handlebars, to be more accurate—and slumber behind him, warm against his back in the cold wind of the night, lulled by the excessive speed.</p><p>Steve should know better than doze off while being a passenger on a motorcycle roaring at 125mph on the highway but he felt so safe and secure and comfortable behind Tony that he was pretty sure he did.</p><p>He was still a little drunk when Tony stopped a first time for gas and a little high with all this happiness he felt inside. The warm and fuzzy feelings made him giddy and ecstatic. He couldn't help staring at his boyfriend, who looked rather stern and focused actually, and giggle like a stupid teenager. He was watching him with new eyes now, fresh and uncorrupted, and maybe he was falling in love again. Older Tony looked somehow somber, more preoccupied. One might say Steve should get worried but Steve knew it only meant that Tony was more open about his real feelings now and he couldn't help being somehow thrilled about it, even if that meant Tony smiled less.</p><p>The second part of the journey passed in a flash. Steve held Tony in a tight embrace, his entire body pressed against him. He felt in bliss, despite the cold piercing through his leather jacket. Maybe he dozed off too because when he snapped out of it, Tony had stopped for the second time and Steve recognized the place instantly. He was mostly out of it when Tony got them a room. The ride might have been short, relatively speaking—with Tony's propensity to disrespect speed limit—but it was still a long way to go and they were deep in the middle of the night when they arrived. Steve was still in a daze and greatly appreciated his boyfriend's seriousness and penchant for taking action at the moment.</p><p>They walked up quickly to their room, carrying very little stuff. It looked the same as every other room in this hotel. It smelled the same too but Steve wasn't going to be picky. He put down his backpack on the bed and looked up at his boyfriend, already staring at the view outside the window. He could only see his athletic back and a glimpse of his face in the dim light, his elbow was resting on the window frame and he leant his head on his forearm. He looked lost in his thoughts but calm and serene nonetheless. </p><p>The atmosphere so warm and relaxing.</p><p>Steve got rid of his leather jacket as the excessive heat of the room had quickly warmed him up and joined Tony by the window, slipping his hands around his waist, underneath his clothes. Tony didn't move. He kept staring at the non-existent view outside. Mostly the dim lights of a quiet town in the middle of the night. The hotel was way too cheap to have rooms overhanging the sea. Steve rose on the tip of his toes and kissed his boyfriend's cheek before burying his head in his clothes, pressed against his back and holding him in a tight embrace. After a three-hour ride, Steve could finally breathe his boyfriend's smell and inhaled deeply. Tony smelled like cologne and sweat. He smelt amazing.</p><p>"You look pensive..." He said, voice muffled by the pink fabric of Tony's bomber jacket. His hands were slightly brushing the skin of his flanks, Tony shivered imperceptibly. </p><p>"I'm exhausted." Tony muttered softly.</p><p>Steve hummed in acknowledgment—riding his bike was much more tiring than driving a car, probably, not that he had driven any car anyway—and rubbed his nose and his forehead on his boyfriend's back, inhaling another deep breath of his entrancing smell. </p><p>"You're quieter lately." He said pensively while stroking up Tony's stomach with his cold hands. Because that was true. When Steve remembered how it all started between them, he recalled Tony would never shut up then. Now they enjoyed long and peaceful moments of silence together. </p><p>Tony shivered again and hummed relaxedly at the touch. He grabbed Steve's bold hands and held them tight in his, delicately rubbing a thumb inside his palms. Steve felt the gesture resonate in his core. "It's because I don't need to talk when I'm with you, I guess. I don't need to fill in the void."</p><p>Steve's heart heaved slowly. He tightened his embrace.</p><p>"Or maybe because you don't need to pretend anymore."</p><p>Tony smiled softly and glanced down at Steve's hands. "Maybe..." he whispered, playing with Steve's hands. "I like the silence with you. It's peaceful. And warm."</p><p>Tony's voice was soft and low and so full of intent. It made Steve shudder inside.</p><p>"Me too." He admitted in a shivering breath and rested his head between Tony's shoulder blades, pressing hard against him, willing to feel the beating of his heart. They were in unison but Steve's accelerated a little when he realized.</p><p>Steve loosened his embrace and tiptoed to admire the view by Tony's side while resting his chin on the top of his shoulder. Tony wavered on his feet and leant backward, resting his head on Steve's shoulder and nuzzling against him, humming contentedly. The gesture was loving and intimate and filled Steve with warmth and fuzzies.</p><p>"I feel like I've already seen this." He said trivially. </p><p>Tony chuckled shyly. "That's because you have..." He explained, still nuzzling and humming against Steve's temple. "This is the exact same room we were in the first time."</p><p>Steve chuckled too. "Really? How did you pull that off?"</p><p>"It's wintertime, babe. The hotel is half empty..."</p><p>"Did you remember the number?"</p><p>"Of course I remembered. Who do you take me for? An amateur?"</p><p>Steve chuckled and wrapped himself around him in a loving hug, running his hands along his chest. Tony gasped at the touch and then he purred and vibrated into his embrace. He threw his head back and leant against him, humming contentedly. </p><p>"I didn't know you could be that romantic." Steve whispered. "You're surprising me everyday."</p><p>Tony laughed, startled, and caught his hands again, pulling them from him. "Of course, you did." He let out nonchalantly. Then his fingers slipped in between Steve's fingers and he intertwined them together. He brought Steve's left hand to his lips and planted a soft and delicate kiss on the inside of his wrist. "I love your hands." He muttered, blowing warm breath on Steve's delicate skin. "I love how thin they are and how strong they are at the same time. And I love the way you touch me with them. I love how you make it about me. You're the only one who ever did that."</p><p>Something clenched in Steve's hard that made him feel dizzy for a moment. He loosened his embrace but Tony held him and pressed his hands against his chest, right were his heart was. It might have been a short or a long moment, Steve had no idea, time was suspended in the air. After a moment he resumed his stroking and ran his hand up and down his boyfriend's chest, ruffling his clothes, slipping his fingers underneath.</p><p>"You do that too you know," Steve let out pensively, "making it about me..."</p><p>"I do that all the time." Tony said disinterestedly. "With everyone." It sounded bitter and made Steve cringe.</p><p>"No, you don't." He said. "That's not the same."</p><p>Steve had no idea actually but he wouldn't accept it otherwise. He slid his hand up his neck comfortingly and made him turn around so he could catch his lips in a languorous kiss. Tony grabbed his wrist but held his hand there and kissed him back softly, swiveling around slowly. Steve brought his other hand to his hip and grabbed his waist, pulling him against him, grinding against his crotch a little. </p><p>Tony was caught off guard and let him manhandle him. Steve slipped his hands underneath his clothes and the temperature rose between. His hands slipped underneath the pink bomber, up to Tony's neck, and he let it slide down his shoulders. Then, he unhooked the buttons of the borrowed flannel, one by one, and splayed his hand on the loose tank top, caressing his chest through the thin fabric, his other hand grabbed Tony's hip. Tony gasped and shivered softly and then he wrapped his strong arms around Steve and kissed him, a soft peck on the lips, before he pulled away and inched back from him. He let his head fall on Steve's shoulder and whined in the crook of his neck, hands loosely put on his shoulders. </p><p>"I'm tired, babe."</p><p>Steve startled and sighed discouragingly. He swallowed his disappointment silently and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.</p><p>"I'm sorry." Tony whispered softly on Steve's hair. Steve could feel the shape of a smile on his lips. "Are you mad?"</p><p>Steve raised his head and kissed his cheek. "I'll never be mad at you for being honest about what you don't want, dum'ass." He kissed him again and grabbed his loose top. "But never again I'm listening to you when you suggest going on a trip in the middle of the night instead of fucking me brainless."</p><p>Tony chuckled and hooked an arm around his nape before leaning into him and kissing him on the neck, making Steve shiver.</p><p>Tony took off his clothes slowly, lost in his thoughts. He had a serious pout on his face. </p><p>Steve threw himself on the uncomfortable bed and slipped a hand into his pants, stroking himself softly. Not that he absolutely needed to come right now but rather to take his mind off things. He leered at the glorious nakedness of his boyfriend before the latter disappeared in the bathroom. Steve kept on stroking while gazing at the city lights through the window. He would finish himself in the shower. </p><p>When he was done Tony was already sleeping, on his back, head turned on the side. Steve crept on the bed and snuggled against him, burying his head in the crook of his shoulder. Tony mumbled and instinctively wrapped a protective arm around him. Steve was lulled into sleep in mere seconds.</p>
<hr/><p>It was the smell of fresh mint breath on his mouth that woke him up. He stirred and slowly emerged and felt Tony's lips brushing the tip of his nose and kissing his forehead.</p><p>He heard him laugh lightheartedly as he stretched his arms and grumbled a tired. "Good mornin'" </p><p>"You mean 'good afternoon'?" Tony snarked. </p><p>Steve stretched again, arms reaching his knees—or trying to anyway—and pouted. "Why is your mouth not on my cock?" He grumbled as he tried to open his eyes for the fourth time.</p><p>Tony burst out laughing. "My reputation precedes me." And then he grabbed Steve's neck and scooted closer.</p><p>Steve opened his eyes and saw his bright smile blinding him, shinier than the sunlight. Tony leant into him. "No, Tony wait, I didn'—" Too late, his lips were already on his and the kiss was sloppy and languorous. "brush my teeth..." Steve finished in a sigh.</p><p>Tony smiled afterward and mouthed a soft "I don't care" with sexy lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes. </p><p>They gazed into each other's eyes lovingly. No words were pronounced. No move was made but the slight brush of Tony's knuckles on Steve's cheek and down his neck. Steve had his hand lazily put on Tony's hip.</p><p>It was past noon already, though barely, but neither of them felt like getting out of bed right now. The moment was glorious. It was the first time Steve was waking up next to his boyfriend, he realized. And the realization gave him warm and fuzzy feelings.</p><p>Tony was smiling. His eyes were playful and mischievous and happy. He kissed him. Again and again an again. The kisses were light and loving and affectionate and he ran his knuckles down Steve's chest, ruffling with his T-shirt and staring at him wholeheartedly. Steve smothered a gasp and let out a long shuddering sigh. A sigh of contentment. A sigh of blinded happiness.</p><p>Tony kissed him and giggled into his mouth then his expression turned serious again and focused. His knuckles still brushing the fabric of Steve close up and down his chest, he pinched his lips and stared intently into his eyes.</p><p>"Do you remember the first time we came here?" He asked while biting his bottom lip. </p><p>Steve had the feeling Tony remembered very well. He nodded silently, lips pursed attentively, feeling that the moment was important.</p><p>"You wanted to tie me to the bed and blindfold me..." Tony carried on, eyes focused on the shape of Steve's lips. His knuckles were brushing along his jaw now.</p><p>"That's funny you'd say that." Steve let out maliciously while his hands stroked up Tony's ribs and around his neck. "Because that's not how I remember it." Tony's gaze turned curious. He stared into Steve's eyes questioningly. "From what I remember, <em>you're</em> the one who wanted me to tie you to the bed and blindfold you. I was just saying it as a joke..."</p><p>Something flickered in Tony's eyes, and for a split second he was unsettled, but soon a provocative smile spread on his face and he looked at Steve smugly.</p><p>"Yeah..." He admitted. "That might be it, in hindsight."</p><p>Steve laughed amusedly and curled his hand lovingly around his boyfriend's neck.</p><p>"I was fucking terrified." Tony blurted, voice broken and faltering at the end. "You scared the shit out of me."</p><p>Steve stared intently into his eyes, looking for the truth, or Tony's soul maybe. He wetted his lips and pinched them, lost in Tony's honest stare. His hands cupped his face protectively.</p><p>"But you trusted me." He croaked out.</p><p>Tony didn't answer immediately. "I did." He finally whispered, eyes locked into Steve's.</p><p>Steve pulled his face closer and kissed him. Tony curled his fingers around the hand that was clutching his neck and kept it there, running gentle fingers along the knuckles.</p><p>"You were the first—" He hesitated, voice faltering. "You were the first who did—who made me <em>feel</em> this way. You were the first who touched me with that much love and <em>respect.</em> I don't know about you but... that day was... It felt important, for both of us. I don't know..."</p><p>Steve's heart clenched. He bit his lips and looked away before staring back into Tony's eyes. "I'm sure Pepper loved you with all her heart." He said with a strained smile. All that talk was bringing memories back, and feelings too, and not all of them were good.</p><p>"I'm sure she did," Tony confessed. "But I don't think I ever let her."</p><p>Steve swallowed painfully. "But you let me?"</p><p>Tony squeezed his hands and looked at him with an unsettling vulnerability before smiling amusedly. "You didn't leave me much choice, I guess. You shattered all my walls, one by one."</p><p>Steve burst out laughing. "As if..." He said once he had calmed. "I don't think that's how it works." He kept on, while Tony was listening attentively. "I think it works both ways."</p><p>Tony kept silent for a moment, pensive. "Maybe..." He admitted after a while.</p><p>Steve stared into his eyes, his hands still cupping his jaw. His lips were drawn to his like magnets. He hadn't realized that their bodies were that close. He could almost feel the beating of Tony's heart on his own chest. His hand stroked up and down his shoulders, and down his hips, and it was loving and affectionate. More of a cuddle than a kiss.</p><p>"I was lying to you, you know." Tony finally said, interrupting the embrace. </p><p>Steve raised questioning eyes at him. </p><p>"When I said I hadn't done it before." He added as an explanation.</p><p>Steve grabbed his biceps tenderly. "Had you done it with someone who wasn't Stane or the like?"  Tony didn't answer. "Then it wasn't much of a lie, was it?</p><p>Tony startled and his eyes shone with gratitude but he didn't say anything, so Steve kissed him to ease the rising tension in the atmosphere. And it worked. Tony let him thrust his tongue in his mouth and kissed him back sensually, moaning against his lips.</p><p>"I was lying too, you know," Tony said when the kiss ended, "when I told you I didn't want to bottom for you." Steve startled and opened his eyes wide. "Truth is..." Tony kept on, voice husky and broken, vulnerable but determined. "You have no idea how much I wanted you to fuck me that night." He explained in a faltering whisper. He licked his lips under the confused stare of Steve. "Ever since I saw that look in your eyes back in the garage...  I couldn't stop thinking about it. Part of me," he sighed "wished for you to take advantage of the situation that night and make me do it. I wanted that. I really hoped you would."</p><p>Steve swallowed. "Why?"</p><p>"I don't know. I guess... I was too much of a coward. And maybe part of me, also wanted to prove myself that you would do it. That it couldn't be possible that someone would not take advantage... but you didn't. You respected me. All the way."</p><p>Steve felt a cold shiver run throughout his body. His heart clenched. He swallowed again, difficultly this time. "This is what sex is supposed to be about, you know?" He husked out hoarsely. </p><p>Tony shrugged and averted his eyes. Something far and forlorn pooled into his eyes.</p><p>"Do you regret it?" Steve asked.</p><p>Tony reflected upon the question before he answered pensively. "Now I think it's the best thing you could ever do for me then. Most of me thinks that at least..."</p><p><em>"Most</em> of you?"</p><p>Tony smiled mischievously. "Well, I can't pretend that I'm not a little fucked-up still, you know, because I am."</p><p>Steve laughed.</p><p>"It's alright." He said while brushing his fingers on Tony's cheek. "Because I'm fucked-up too. Both of us, I guess, had our share of fucked-up in the sex department. What's important is that we both know what we want now."</p><p>Tony's eyes were shiny in the early afternoon light. He stared at Steve silently, biting his lips. There was a slight tremor in his jaw. And they were so close... so close and tense and fidgety. </p><p>"Do you want me to fuck you now?"</p><p>Tony threw his head back in a strangled laugh. His hand brushed Steve's cheek and ran down his neck and his shoulder. "Oh, come on, Rogers..." He scoffed with a sardonic smile. His eyes were intent on him however and his expression turned serious in a split second. "You <em>know</em> I do."</p><p>Steve gasped and felt a shiver running down his spine. He swallowed. </p><p>And suddenly their gestures were more resolute and their caresses more intense. And the look in Tony's eyes was wanton. Their lips touched. It wasn't brutal, it wasn't urgent but languorous and deep and meaningful. Tony's arms curled around Steve's neck, holding his face with a strong grip as he scooted closer, seeking warmth and friction. Steve's hands slid down Tony's flanks and grabbed his hips firmly. Tony was trembling, body tense and burning against Steve. He was moaning into Steve's mouth every time Steve claimed him a little more.</p><p>Steve ran a hand up Tony's chest, slipping his fingers underneath his shirt. He brushed his nipples, earned a gasp, and reached his neck, grabbing it possessively from underneath the shirt. One last kiss...</p><p>"Do you want me to tie you up and blindfold you?" He asked in a husky whisper.</p><p>Tony's eyes opened and he licked his lips, still holding Steve's face firmly in his hands. "No, I don't." He hurried to say. "I don't wanna do that. I'd rather see you. I wanna see you when you come inside of me and I wanna hold you and touch you. And I don't wanna do that." His last words faltered as they came out hoarsely.</p><p>Steve smiled against Tony's eager lips. He curled his arms around Tony and held him into a hug. "Okay." He said, willing to be reassuring. "It's okay, babe. We don't have to."</p><p>And Tony snuggled against him and grabbed his hand to slide it down his own waist and around the curve of his firm ass. Steve obliged with a groan and he pushed into him to turn him on his back and settle between his legs. Tony let him and he wrapped his arms around his neck. He shivered when Steve splayed his left hand on his stomach and ran it up his chest, creeping underneath the shirt, while his right hand slipped into his boyfriend's shorts and grabbed his hip. </p><p>Tony was growing hard under Steve. Steve thrust his hips into him, seeking friction, and his boyfriend responded by shoving his tongue in his mouth to muffle his own moans. </p><p>It felt suddenly very hot. Steve sat up on his knees and took his shirt off, then he pulled Tony's off. He slid his hands on both sides of him and grabbed the brim of his shorts delicately before pulling them down. Tony was propped up on his elbows, gloriously naked. His skin was shiny with sweat and his nipples were tense and his chest was heaving slowly and his lips were parted, expectingly. He stared into Steve's eyes lewdly. It was glorious.</p><p>They exchanged a look. Loving, trusty and full of expectations. Steve crawled up between Tony's legs, making sure he kissed the olive skin on the inside of his thighs as many times as he could while reaching the place where he wanted to be. Tony's cock, fat, erect and hard, stood proudly in front of him and he swallowed it down in one go, earning a gasp and a keening sound from Tony, whose legs were shaking with pleasure. He repeated the gesture a couple of times, just enough to lubricate him, before crawling up his chest. He let the tip of his tongue wander along his abs and kissed him again. And again, and again, until his entire body was pressed against Tony and his crotch was grinding against Tony's shaft. He grabbed his boyfriend's neck with a strong hand and pulled his head down so he could give him a languorous kiss before laying him down on the mattress. Tony curled his arms around him and adjusted their position, squeezing his thighs around Steve's thin waist. </p><p>Steve made a quick job at getting rid of his shorts and settled back in between Tony's legs, rubbing himself against the cleft of his ass. Tony gasped and trembled and his hands were gripping his arms so tightly Steve was sure he already had bruises.</p><p>Steve had fucked Tony many times before, but he had never fucked his boyfriend. And it was taking a complete other dimension. It was almost overwhelming.</p><p>The muscles of Tony's neck were all hard and flexed as he kept staring into his eyes, begging, repressing silent moans. Steve took the lube and coated himself just enough before he pushed into Tony. Slowly, softly, waiting patiently for Tony to open for him. And Tony's legs were tensed and squeezed on each side of him. And his chest heaved. And he propped himself on his elbows, demanding a kiss. Steve pushed him down on the mattress and grazed the soft skin of his neck with his teeth, feeling feral and possessive. And Tony laughed. "You're tickling me," he said but was silenced soon enough when Steve pushed a little harder. Tony shuddered and parted his lips, huffing out a silent gasp. He was usually silent when he bottomed. He caught Steve's mouth into a kiss and wrapped his arms around him, cuddling him, licking his neck, adjusting their positions. Steve thrust into him once more and it finally went in, so smoothly, so easily, as if Tony's ass had been made to cradle his cock.</p><p>Steve gave deep and steady thrusts. And Tony's legs were shaking. And his toes were curling. And he jerked and grabbed the sheets with all his strength. And he threw his head back, panting into the sheets until he couldn't repress his whimpers anymore. And he was so fucking beautiful.</p><p>Steve kissed his chest. "Ride me," he whispered and they both rolled around so Tony was on top, muscles rippling at each movement. Steve grabbed his waist and Tony grabbed his neck, leaning forward to kiss him while he gave the rhythm.</p><p>"You're so fucking hot." Steve let out and Tony smiled, kinky and mischievous. He leant forward again and gave him a last sloppy kiss while squeezing around him, giving hard and deep movements. Steve was trapped and he couldn't hold it any longer. </p><p>Tony grinned proudly when Steve came and he laughed softly but his eyes were hazy and his smile a little lewd. He kept on riding Steve, challenging, until he came as well, without touching himself.</p><p>Tony was a work of art when he came.</p><p>Steve was befuddled for a moment and Tony collapsed on his chest while laughing contentedly and kissing him in the crook of his neck. He wriggled above him, making space for him between his legs and grabbed Steve's hands before pinning down on the dirty pungent mattress. </p><p>"Rogers," he slurred huskily while fiddling with Steve's hands, "you were amazing." And he planted a kiss right behind his ear. </p><p>"It was worth the wait, I admit." Steve hummed giddily while dozing off a little.</p><p>Tony chuckled softly and Steve knew he was smiling although he had closed his eyes because he could feel Tony's smile shining bright above him like the morning sun. Tony kissed the corner of his mouth and rested his head on his shoulder. He was still playing with Steve's hands, caressing the inside of his palm gently. "Thank you." He whispered in a sated sigh. </p><p>Steve opened his eyes to catch a glimpse of the light in Tony's and slid his hands down his lower back and up the curve of his gloriously naked ass. "See how good I can be when you're not emasculating me?"</p><p>Tony laughed. "When did I emasculate you?" He asked while staring into his eyes with a half-serious expression on his face. His eyes were tender though, and his hands brushed Steve's cheek so very gently.</p><p>It didn't need answers, or maybe neither of them wanted to enter this debate. </p><p>"You were amazing too, Anthony Edward Stark." Steve croaked out before he gave a soft slap on his ass. His boyfriend let out a surprised gasp and opened wide eyes. His face brightened for a split second before he pouted in a false annoyance that Steve deliberately ignored. "You're gorgeous babe, when you're being honest." This time Tony looked puzzled and a blush started creeping on his face. And Steve's heart clenched at the beauty of it. </p><p>Tony put his head on Steve's collarbone, or maybe tried to hide his embarrassment, and sighed while snuggling against him. </p><p>"I wanna be honest with you, Steve." He said, after a heavy lingering silence. Steve opened one eye and ran a hand through his scruffy hair. "I just don't know how to... Lying—is part of me. All my life, I've been lying and pretending and hiding who I really was. I've been doing it for so long I don't even know who I am anymore."</p><p>Steve felt a shiver running down his spine and tightened his embrace around his boyfriend, stroking the back of his head comfortingly. </p><p>Tony raised his head and pushed himself onto his arms to stare into Steve's eyes. "I wanna be more honest with you, <em>for</em> you, I swear. And I <em>will</em> but... " He averted his eyes, hesitancy in them. "But I can't tell you why I did the things that I did... 'cause I don't even know myself. I know I was a selfish bastard and I didn't deserve you and you didn't deserve what I put you through but I just... " His voice stopped, just enough for Steve to realize how fast his heart was beating. "I just needed you." He stared into Steve's eyes again. Expression intense and genuine. "I <em>needed</em> you, Steve." A flash of pain ran across his eyes, leaving a forlorn trail in them.</p><p>Steve knew exactly what his boyfriend was referring to and he felt a cold shiver freezing his entire body and slaying his heart. It cut his breathing short.</p><p>"I still do," Tony went on, eyes lost, "sometimes." He paused, staring into space. "But I don't want that. I—I don't want that kind of relationship with you. I wanna be there for you too. I want you... to rely on me."</p><p>Steve lost himself in his boyfriend's eyes, his body tensed and he grabbed his face in his hands making him look at him. "Tony..." he choked out. "Everything I am today, I owe it to you. You're my hero, Tony Stark! Can't you see? Every fucking day I wake up and marvel at how amazing you are and how strong you are and how positive you are, about everything. I wish I had some, even just a little bit, of your courage and your tenacity. You inspire me, babe, every fucking day of my life you inspire me. And I worship the ground you walk on..."</p><p>Tony parted his lips and stared at him confusedly, eyes wide open. Maybe his breathing stopped too, for a minute or two. </p><p>"That being said," Steve went on while dropping his head on the bed and loosening his grip on Tony's face, "Get off of me." He snapped while pushing Tony away and turning his head on the side. "I'm exhausted."</p><p>One might say he was fleeing this conversation like a coward but to be completely fair, this new day and everything they had to face now was scaring the shit out of him.</p><p>Tony chuckled and shook him up. "Don't fall asleep now, Rogers! You can't do that! That's unfair... And it's already half past two... Move up!!!"</p><p>Steve grumbled and buried his head in the pillows, because—let's be honest—that might have been slightly exaggerated and he might be blushing right now. And Tony hadn't believed him anyway. So who cared?</p><p>He didn't lie about being exhausted though, because he dozed almost immediately. Maybe the talk had been too emotionally intense for him because he barely felt Tony's lips brush his forehead affectionately and the next thing he remembered was the shadow of Tony in the afternoon light, all dressed and ready to go. He was wearing his motorbike's leather jacket and boots and looked painfully hot in those, in a macho kind of way. He was folding something, or searching the bags, Steve wasn't sure. And then he raked a hand in his hair with a dark and mysterious air about him. And Steve felt a surge of love, and maybe lust, creeping in his chest.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Steve mumbled in a sleepy voice.</p><p>Tony turned his face to him. "Smoking." He said while showing the pack of cigarette cradled in his hand. </p><p>"You can smoke at the window..." Steve rasped, trying to get his body to move.</p><p>"I need some fresh air..." Tony answered in a blasé expression. "And no, Steve, I can't smoke out the window, even in this crappy hotel..." He made an unsexy movement—that Steve found utterly sexy still—to slip his newly found lighter into the pocket of his skinny jeans, cigarette already hanging from his lips, and  almost staggered to door.</p><p>"You should stop smoking..." Steve mumbled sulkily.</p><p>Tony raised surprised at eyes at him and frowned. "Fuck off, Lil' Roj! I'll quit smoking when I'm forty and bold and fat and freaking out about my health. Till then, you'll have to get used to it..."</p><p>Steve responded with a pillow thrown at his face that Tony caught in flight and threw back at him with an amused smile. "I'll see you at the beach, jerk!"</p>
<hr/><p>Tony had left his phone in the room. Not that Steve had needed to call him, because he knew exactly where to find Tony on the beach. And Tony was staring at the ocean—or at the future—purposeful, his hands buried in his pockets.</p><p>Steve walked silently to him and hooked his arm to his elbow. He tiptoed to give him a peck on the cheek, Tony was nice enough to tilt his head so it wouldn't be a strenuous effort for Steve. His cheek was rough with the three-day-old stubble scrubbing his face and the scratchy feeling on Steve's sensitive skin was enhanced by the cold winter breeze. He leant into him. Tony smelled like cigarette and sea air and <em>Tony.</em> His boyfriend turned his head on the side and caught his mouth for languorous kiss. Steve melted into it with the awkward feeling that it might be the last time they would be able to share intimate moments like this in public.</p><p>They remained silent. The moment was bittersweet somehow. </p><p>They walked on the beach, just like had wanted Tony and Tony had insisted to dive into the freezing water, despite all common sense. He had run out the water, lips purple and shivering, and have given Steve a wet and shuddering kiss that Steve would have liked to pass. He had used his own clothes to rub himself dry and now his clothes were damp and they hadn't brought much change.</p><p>Tony didn't care much. Steve was the sunshine warming his heart he had tackily said then.</p><p>And now they had just finished their late afternoon lunch, sitting on the empty terrace outside because it was unexpectedly and happily sunny and because, yeah, why not?</p><p>Steve was staring at his boyfriend's face brightened by the latish afternoon sunlight and felt like smiling goofily. Something fluttering in his heart and an overwhelming wave of happiness growing inside.</p><p>Tony was staring into space, eyes lost in the wind, but he noticed Steve's loving and smiled beautifully, glancing at him from the corner of his eye, sexily hidden behind his glasses.</p><p>"Why are you looking at me like that?"</p><p>"Because I'm happy..." Steve said very honestly. </p><p>Tony averted his eyes and bit his lips to prevent his smile from growing wider. A light embarrassed blush starting to creep on his face. He looked half-pride, half-shy and he was too cute for his own good.</p><p>"I can't believe you're my boyfriend now," Steve continued. "I can't get my head around it yet."</p><p>Tony chuckled. "I still have your cum inside me, though..."</p><p>Steve rolled his eyes, not without feeling all mushy inside at the incongruous and inappropriate remark. "Why do you always have to ruin the moment?"</p><p>Tony grinned proudly. </p><p>"Aren't you scared a little?" Steve asked, "about what's gonna happen now?"</p><p>Tony shrugged. "It's not like it's a complete overturn..." He said nonchalantly. "We've been going steady for more than a year, already. It's just that now we both know it. But nothing's gonna change much, I guess. You still have your job, your friends. I have the company. And neither of us have much time on ours hands..."</p><p>"You're right, things haven't really changed and yet, everything feels different." He paused, staring at his boyfriend's peaceful expression and envisioning a future together for the first time. "We can make plans, now. We can think about tomorrow. The possibilities are vertiginous."</p><p>"I talk about the future all the time."  Tony casually mentioned as he was playing with his fork. </p><p>"Maybe you <em>have..."</em> Steve conceded, "but I wasn't ready to hear it. I kept waiting for the moment you wouldn't need me anymore and start your real life without me chaperoning you. Like some sword of Damocles looming over our relationship."</p><p>Tony laughed lightheartedly. "That's because you've always taken on to play mum with me." His eyes were glimmering mischievously. "Chaperoning is a bit excessive, though..." </p><p>"I feel like I've spent six years of my life waiting for this passing fancy of yours to fade, fearing the day your incomprehensible and obscure interest in me would die down and living each instant I got to spent with you like another undeserved gift from God."</p><p>"You're the one who's elusive, Rogers! Not me... Why don't you stop with the self-hating and just accept, once and for all, that this is just me crazy in love with you and <em>wanting</em> you in my life."</p><p>"Yeah but... I can't help thinking that I've been your first for so many things that... you know how firsts are important! Like, I'm the only one you've trusted enough to bottom for example—"</p><p>Tony shook his head, smile turning sour on his face. "So what?" He interrupted. "Would you feel better if I picked up a couple of random guys and let them fuck me up the ass?"</p><p>Steve sighed and rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant and you know it!" He frowned at him. "No matter how many people you've banged, Tony. Or the amount of coke you sniffed." He swallowed the growing lump of fear and cowardice growing in his throat. "I'm still a lot more experienced than you, on so many aspects, and I'm afraid that, one day, it's gonna be a problem. The responsibility scares me. You're still <em>so</em> young and—"</p><p>"It's just five years!" Tony exclaimed and then he leant forward, grabbing the hand Steve had lazily put laid on the table, and stroked it tenderly with his thumb. "I get that you're scared, Steve. I'm scared too, you know<em>.</em> I doubt. All the time. About you, about me, about <em>us.</em> Not to mention the whole full disclosure thing waiting for us at the end of the day. I'm... " Tony's voice faltered but his determination was almost terrifying. "I'm sorry that I hurt you in the past. I'm really sor—"</p><p>"We <em>both</em> hurt each other." Steve interjected, feeling the guilt growing into a lump in his throat.</p><p>"But I'm ready to move on and forward!" Tony blurted out while ignoring the disapproving stares that his intimate gesture had induced around them. "We've been over this already, I can't promise you that it will work or that it will last but I can promise you," Tony stared intently in Steve's eyes, with a seriousness that made Steve's heart leap, "that it will be different. And I think it's worth the risk. Don't you?" He stretched his neck and kissed Steve. A loving, comforting and full of promises kiss.</p><p>And Tony had been right after all. They were kissing outside, in the middle of the street, for everyone to see, and yet, no-one tried to take a picture, no-one recognized them, because no-one expected them to be here. And the incognito glasses Tony was wearing made the kiss difficult but they were so hot on him it was worth it.</p><p>"So what shall I do now?" Steve asked on Tony's lips, heart racing in his chest. "Shall I get on my knees?"</p><p>Tony's eyes opened wide and he parted his lips confusedly. "That would be ill-advised." He snarked with a grin after the initial dismay Steve had caused. "But you could ask for the check, though. We've been lazying here long enough and it's already getting dark. I need action."</p><p>Steve did and they left the restaurant hands in hands and Steve risked leaning on his boyfriend's shoulder. The marriage topic dropped and kept warm for later. Tony let him cuddle while burying his hands deep in his pockets. The winter evenings were freezing in the sea side. They drew a few curious and uncomfortable stares, but not because they were famous. That was a worry for later. That was a worry for their life, back in New York. And Tony wrapped his arm around Steve and held him tight against him. He planted a soft gentle kiss on the top of Steve's air and squeezed tighter in the cold breeze.</p><p>Later that night Steve grabbed Tony's fingers and played with them.</p><p>"Tony?" He asked nonchalantly, although his heart was racing in his chest. "Do you wanna get married at some point, like Buck and Clint?"</p><p>His boyfriend jerked and looked away from his computer screen to stare at him with his glasses on the tip of his nose. He didn't say anything for a moment, observing, judging the seriousness of the question.</p><p>"Honestly?" Tony finally said. "I'm not ready for that kind of commitment yet. Not with you, or with anyone else for that matter. I..." He hesitated, a flash of pain in his pensive eyes. "I wanna make this work. I wanna have...something that <em>works</em> in my life. I want to be confident that I can make you happy before we get sentenced to life. I don't wanna get married and get divorced three years later. When we get married—<em>if</em> we ever get married—I want us to think about it thoroughly and be <em>sure. </em>I don't wanna do this half-heartedly. And I... I'm not—" He hesitated again, his voice broken and his words stuck in his throat. "I'm not there yet."</p><p>Steve stared at him and felt a sudden and overwhelming surge of relief invading his body. He dropped his head on the pillow and exhaled a long and shuddering sigh, hiding his face in his hands. "Thank god!" He exclaimed relievedly. "We're on the same wavelength..." He smiled lightheartedly. "I got worried for a moment."</p><p>Tony chuckled. He discarded the computer and turned on his side to face Steve. He smiled and splayed his hand on Steve's stomach, stroking up and down his chest. "Let's not jump on the gun, 'kay? Let's see if we can make it last another year before we make hasty life-changing decisions, right?"</p><p>"Yeah, no. I definitely want to take things slow." Steve said with a grin spread on his face. "Baby steps, right?"</p><p>"Baby steps." Tony confirmed, smile shy but happy nevertheless.</p><p>Steve propped himself up on his elbows and brought a hand to Tony's cheek, brushing it softly with his thumb. "Thank you," he said softly, with all his intent, "for being honest with me." He paused, watching Tony relishing in the caress. "What we have now," he started while staring into his eyes, "What we've been sharing for the past year, together. This is what I want from you. This is what I want for <em>us.</em> I want you to keep growing, and I want the same for me, with you by my side and—"</p><p>Tony smiled and kissed him before he could finish his sentence.</p>
<hr/><p>The three days flew by in a flash. It had been sweet and tender and they didn't fight once. They made love and walked on the beach and they visited the place around, went sightseeing but mostly, they talked. About them. About their past and about their future. About everything. They remembered the second time they had been there. It had been somehow cathartic with a lot of emotion but minimum tears and mostly, understanding.</p><p>And now it was time for them to go, leave New Jersey, come back to New York, to their lives—to the hornet's nest Steve had stirred up.</p><p>Those three days in New Jersey had been exactly what Steve had needed, what they <em>both</em> needed. A nice parenthesis, away from the mess he had created. Three days to refocus on them, on everything that mattered. Three days to enjoy each other. Three days during which they had been so happy, away from the damaging routine, away from their daily duties that took over everything else.</p><p>Steve had kept his phone switched off the entire time.</p><p>Now, Tony was filling up the gas tank and Steve was feeling a pang in his chest. A heavy weight which didn't want to leave. And the sun was shining bright on their hopes and Tony was smiling and it was a beautiful day despite the cold but the pang remained. It wouldn't go away and festered in Steve's chest. And despite his boyfriend's apparent cheerfulness, Steve couldn't help feeling sullen. </p><p>Tony had left to pay and Steve pondered pinching a cigarette from Tony's pack and hurt his lungs until he forgot about the pang. Tony came back before he could make the decision and threw something to his face, smile a little proud.</p><p>It was the latest issue of <em>US Weekly, </em>and there was a picture of them on the front page. </p><p>Steve took the magazine with a trembling hand. He was entranced. The picture was... The picture was <em>beautiful. </em>Emotionally and artistically <em>beautiful. </em>Steve traced the invisible line that connected both them, captivated. The photographer had been able to capture the exact moment they caught each other's eye. They had captured the complexity and the depth of Tony's feelings at this moment and they had captured all the love and kindness Steve had been feeling. And Tony looked handsome and strong and in love. And Steve looked happy. So very happy. And their hands were barely touching, from the tip of their fingers, but their grip was unbreakable.</p><p>Steve felt a tear creeping up at the corner of his eye. It was majestic. His heart skipped in his chest, lifting the weight, and started racing.</p><p>After the first emotions started ebbing away, Steve read the caption: <em>Who really is Steve Rogers, Tony Stark's mystery boyfriend?</em></p><p>The introduction seemed rather insouciant. Mostly it came back on the ugly rumors that had been going around since Tony's coming out three weeks previous and showed how <em>wrong</em> everybody had been.</p><p>And then it was mostly about... about <em>him, </em>actually. It was about him, about his art, his career, his accomplishments. His many talents highly praised by the critics and the public alike. The growing fandom who was picturing their favorite artist and his entire work from a different perspective, reinterpreting everything he had ever drawn or written. It was worryingly detailed too. His school years, his college years, the death of his mum, his struggling debuts, handling two jobs at the same time. They had been quick to make the connections between the diner he had been working at and the residence of his current lover—aka Tony Stark.</p><p>The rest of the article was making assumptions: how they had met, what their relationship was like, how much they seemed to love each other, how much they supported each other. It was snoopy but there was nothing mean in there. It was mostly harmless and rather benevolent for an article of that kind.</p><p>Steve stared at the article for a moment, taken aback, not really sure if he was dreaming this or not.</p><p>It was his boyfriend who shook him out from his reveries. He had a proud grin on his face and invaded Steve's personal space with the manic energy that characterized him. "So? What do you think?"</p><p>Steve hesitated. "Interesting. Not bad actually. I pictured much much worse. This is far from being catastrophic. For now..."</p><p>"I hope so." Tony said and something occurred to Steve.</p><p>"Wait... Are you behind this?"</p><p>Tony shrugged. "If you can't stop the gossips then you better control them."</p><p>Steve wasn't sure if he should feel proud or scared by the disconcerting news. He'd rather feel relieved for now, he could worry later. "Wow... So <em>you</em> did this."</p><p>"Well not me, <em>me. </em>I've got a whole PR team to do that for me but yeah, in substance yeah, I guess I had something to do with it..."</p><p>"I'm not sure if should feel relieved or freak out..."</p><p>"Why don't you just take it the way it is?" Tony grinned and shook his head. "You know what your problem is? You intellectualize things too much."</p><p>Steve hummed pensively, still shaken by the picture and baffled by the whole thing.</p><p>"So we've been moderating a lot, I won't lie." Tony continued, not making a further point about—hand quotes—Steve's problem. "On every social media platform, especially the ones dedicated to the Avengers fandom, but the reactions to the news were...<em>mostly</em> positive. Your fans have your back,<em> for now</em>..."</p><p>Tony had weirdly insisted on the word <em>mostly</em> and the end of the sentence sounded somehow ominous but Steve felt lighthearted and nothing could the ruin this beautiful day for him, now. Not even the cold.</p><p>Tony smiled devilishly and handed him the keys. "So, who's gonna get to be Princess Ann today?" He asked. And something told Steve <em>he</em> wanted to. He took the keys, kissed his boyfriend one last time before they both put their helmets on. He made engine roar even louder than the first time he touched it and they sped into the afternoon light, going north, towards their future.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Edit: So... Apparently, I completely fucked up this one shot... If you feel like telling me why in the comments and help me get better, you'd make me a very very very grateful author (who's been torturing themselves over it)... </p><p>:D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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